Thursday, February 6, 2014

Welcome to Sochi!

Welcome to your world-class professional hotel room at the Hotel Matryoshka where our motto is “You will feel like you’re in a very different world inside a world inside a world.”

You will have already noticed some of our world-class professional features including locking doors for which you will be provided with a key as soon as they become available. Here in the “Brightest Spot On The Black Sea” you will find no need of the electric light after dark as your memories of famous Russian hospitality will light your way. We recommend to our guests that they conduct all of their personal business in their hotel room when the sun shines through the window because you will be able to see. For this reason we do not provide curtains at Hotel Matryoshka in order to let you see and be seen. If you would prefer to conduct your perfectly private business in the dark you may request one of our windowless rooms of which we have many for your perusal.

What traveler needs more than a bed at the end of a busy day admiring the local sights? Answer me that.

A word of advice for our foreign guests who require toilet facilities. Please make use of the bathrooms provided at the official Olympics venues which have been made available for tourists and famous athletes, but please also wait your turn with extreme patience as many tourists and athletes also require the facilities from many hotels. Toilet paper can be purchased from any of our convenient autobus stations at the airport.

At the world-class professional Hotel Matryoshka we pride ourselves on the full range of amenities offered to selected guests such as vodka vending machine in every hallway, blankets available upon request, legal cigarettes, fire extinguishers, and gentlemen’s entertainment (ask at front desk).

While in the semi-tropical winter paradise of Sochi we hope you will avail yourself of our highest-quality ice and snow not all of which is man-made all of the time. Please feel free to send your loved ones a wi-fi postcard that says “I wish you were here with me” on the World Wide Web. Yes! The computer is here at Sochi. Internet postcards can be mailed from some of our wi-fi towers which can be found on top of the mountains where you will find yourself.

Thank you for choosing Hotel Matryoshka we beg of you to come back again soon with all of your friends and their families next year and the year after that. No regrets can be found at our venue. All credit cards taken, cash also.

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